Uncomfortable conversations
- Coach Ned
- Jun 10, 2020
- 3 min read
In this time of incredible turbulence - yes COVID has created a pandemic of epic proportions and disruptions to life as we know it - but I am actually referring to something bigger, and that deals with racism and suffering by many for far longer and deeper than is acceptable. Like many people across the world, I have had time for deep reflection and wondered what can I do, what can I say, how can I make a difference, does my one little self in a world of billions really matter and while I don't have the answers, I know that doing nothing can't be acceptable.
I thought that Emmanuel Acho's Uncomfortable Conversation with a Black Man was extremely moving and powerful and addresses a lot of feelings that I had and felt compelled to post and share.
Having run in college, I had teammates who were both white and black, and ignorantly, never truly looked at the color of the person as looked at them simply as friends. I probably spent as much time with my black teammates as I did my white ones and never thought much about it other then I knew I enjoyed spending time with them. On the track, and perhaps one of the reasons that I accomplished some of the things that I did, is that I never thought about me as much as I thought about my teammates. When I lined up for a race, I was was competing for everyone else who shared the same uniform. If it was a relay or a championship meet, then I would try and find anything extra I could muster for everyone out there as knew they would rely on me - brothers for life.
BUT, I realize nearly 30 years later that I could have taken the same mindset to be a better person and learned more about my brothers of color and some of their struggles. We talked pretty openly - and still do - but I wish that I could have taken that time and opportunity to truly understand what being different really meant. I wish that I had asked deeper questions, and taken the time to ask more probing questions to genuinely understand as I had friends who I truly believe would have been comfortable opening up and given me so much insight, that could have helped me to see things clearer - and allow me to be a better person.
I spent over 20 years coaching college athletes of all denominations - race, gender, sexuality, socioeconomically - and as I reflect, I wish that I had done more to have been educated by them as opposed to trying to help educate. Understanding is asking and being open to what you hear and not afraid to ask for enlightenment and for how somehow different then yourself sees things / is seen by others. I know I can do better and am trying my best to do that moving forward.
Full circle, as it relates to running and biking and getting fit - I have never thought that much about these things as simply do it and enjoy pushing myself. While on the bike, I am always thinking about the fact that I hope I will be safe on the roads and that people who are driving are paying attention and not on their phone or that road conditions are not going to cause a crash, or that I don't get too lost BUT never have I felt afraid because of perception by others. I never thought that when I was running that I might get chased down and killed because of the color of my skin and I am realizing that this is not true for all. The very things that I admittedly take for granted - and do freely for pure enjoyment - others don't enjoy, and perhaps in many cases, simply avoid because of the potential backlash from others, and it is my hope that moving forward that will begin to change. The sport piece is the smaller picture, as the life piece far greater but that said, the adrenaline / endorphin rush of getting fit and exercising has long lasting benefits for everyone and my hope, is that everyone who wants to is able to enjoy these simple things in life with fear or worry and for all of us white folks, let's do our part to listen and make change. One person doing a little bit can add up quickly if everyone does their part and we can all do better
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